I Hate Your Childhood
I’m a lot like you, dear reader. A hip and cool twenty-something with a healthy interest in technology. We had similar tastes when it came down to movies, television, and video games back in the day. Chances are, you played your fair share of Sega Genesis Sonic the Hedgehog and Nintendo 64 like I did. Ma and Pop sure knew how to pick ‘em!
At first I thought it was funny: four guys crammed around Wolpers’ big-screen in the main lounge playing their copy of Mario Kart 64 on an obsolete system with a controller that only has a place in a bad sci-fi movie from the late fifties. Satirical. A joke. Upon further inspection, I found that they legitimately thought Mario Kart 64 was one of the best games ever made. Perplexed, I walked away.
I hear incessant spewings of praise from my peers directed towards the Genesis Sonic the Hedgehog and the Nintendo 64, and I can’t help but raise an eyebrow in confusion. Do people really think that games like Sonic and Mario Kart 64 have withstood the test of time? To further evaluate, I composed the following tweet:
Listening to some residents talk about how great the N64 was. I don’t understand their logic. Do you really think Mario Kart 64 was good?
Much to my dismay, I received a flurry of defensive responses:
“@zfleeman Look, 4-player Mario Kart was a big deal to me back then. It’s not the best MK game, but there was a certain magic about MK64.”
“@zfleeman Just got done playing N64 for a good two hours.”
“@zfleeman Yes. Also: Perfect Dark, Mario 64, Ocarina of Time…”
“@Zfleeman @Arclite AND Majora’s Mask, Jet Force Gemini, Banjo K/T, 1080 Snowboarding, Smash Bros, Harvest Moon, Rayman 2…”
“@zfleeman yes. absolutely. my N64 still sits next to the Wii, Xbox 360, and PS3, and it still gets used.”
“@zfleeman what @Arclite said, N64 had some great games”
“@zfleeman MK64 has the best track design of any of the games. it also didn’t have an overabundance of items. these make it the best MK game.”
I’m not denying the fact that the Nintendo 64 had some groundbreaking and innovative games, I’m just asking the question if you honestly think that the large majority of these games haven’t been improved on in some way. To help justify my point, let me name a few improvements.
Everybody’s favorite, Ocarina of Time, was immediately followed by the easily superior Majora’s Mask. Innovations in gameplay and story were implemented that could have significantly changed the direction of this oh-so-bland franchise. Goldeneye was put to shame when Rare released Perfect Dark, which utilized the same engine but just added more of everything. Mario Kart 64 (along with most of the series) is just plain terrible, and was somehow refined by the original on the Super Nintendo. The improvements to Super Smash Bros. are prominent, and can’t possibly be questioned.
In an effort to prevent this from becoming the longest article on the blog, allow me to conclude. I don’t understand the unrelenting persistence of Nintendo 64 fans. It’s hard for me to believe you legitimately enjoy games that run at a low resolution, frame rate, and polygon count over more modern pieces of achievement. Clinging on to nostalgic memories will make you blind, and advance your ignorance. I lose a bit of respect to the person who refuses to acknowledge an improvement. Some things aren’t a matter of opinion.
Sorry,
-Zach
P.S. As for all of you Sonic the Hedgehog fans, I already pooped on that franchise back when We Keep It Real was contingent on Word Press. I’ll have to rewrite that gem of pure hate in the near future.
